


"I'd Rather Die Than Kiss Her"

by XxmerthurcatxX



Category: Hey Arnold!
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-09
Updated: 2017-06-09
Packaged: 2018-11-11 13:15:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,983
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11149179
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/XxmerthurcatxX/pseuds/XxmerthurcatxX
Summary: When Helga let Phoebe drag her to Rhonda's graduation party she had known it could only end in disaster. It always did when a certain football headed teen was involved.





	"I'd Rather Die Than Kiss Her"

“Come on Helga, it’ll be fun,” Phoebe had said, pleading with her best friend to accompany her to Rhonda’s graduation party. The whole of the graduating class had been invited, as it seemed Rhonda had learned her lesson about excluding “geeks” the last time she threw a disastrous tea party. 

“Pheebs, you know I love you, but I would rather kiss the warts on Mr. Warts nose than go to the stupid party,” she grumbled. 

“But everyone is going to be there!”

“All the more reason not to go.”

Helga closed her locker, now completely spotless, and shoved the rest of her crap into her backpack. The girls headed out the front doors of the school and down the street toward their homes. 

“Arnold will be there,” Phoebe said suddenly. 

Arnold. The name still made Helga’s heart beat just a little faster. It was ridiculous really and she had hoped that by this point in her life she would have moved on from the “sultry preteen,” or so she had once referred to him in one of her many poems. Instead, here she was, the last summer before she headed off to college and still pining away. Pathetic. 

“So?”

“So, maybe now would be a good time to tell him how you really feel.”

How she really felt. Like that thought hadn’t crossed her mind. The first time during FTI hadn’t gone so well. Sure she kissed him, but he hadn’t really kissed back and afterward when he gave her an easy out, she took it. The look of relief on his face when she agreed that she had just been caught up in the moment was forever burned into her mind.

“No thanks. I’ll be scott free as soon as the summer is over. There’s plenty of fish in the sea, and I intend to meet a nice guy with a normal shaped head in college. Or maybe I’ll just move to the woods and become a hermit. Less trouble that way.”

“Whatever you say Helga. I still think you should come to the party,” Phoebe said, turning her puppy dog eyes on her friend. 

“Oh criminy. Fiiiiiine. But I’m not getting dolled up and the second Rhonda tries to show me her brand new shiney, whatever the hell it is this week, I’m out. Deal?”

“Deal. We can get ready together!”  
“What did I just say about getting dolled up?!”

“You don’t have to, but I’m still going to.”

Helga grumbled something about parties being worthless and time consuming and boring, but Phoebe just smiled, knowing that somewhere, deep down, Helga would have at least a little fun at the party. 

Eight o’clock rolled around much sooner than Helga wanted it to. After hours, yes that’s right, hours of helping Phoebe decide what to wear they were off. Apparently, even though they had been dating for two years, Phoebe still wanted to dress up nice for Gerald and Helga had to admit she looked amazing. She was in a long sleeve dark blue dress that was just fitted enough to show off her petite frame and on her feet were a pair of dressy grey ankle boots. Her hair was lightly curled and pulled back just at the top. 

There was a lot of complaining on Helga’s party, but Phoebe managed to convince her to put on something a little nicer than jeans and a t-shirt. She’d opted for a pair of black jeans, a long sleeve white shirt that slipped down over one shoulder and a pair of pink converse. Her hair was down after Phoebe practically ripped it out pulling it from the pigtails she always wore and her ever present pink bow was still in place on top of her head.

“Can we go now?” she asked, ready to get the damn evening over with. 

Phoebe nodded and the two of them hopped a bus to Rhonda’s.

The party was in full swing when they got there. Rhonda’s parents were out of town, so things were a little crazy. Gerald found Phoebe in a matter of seconds and, with Helga’s go ahead, whisked her away. 

“Helga, darling, you simply must see the red satin gown mummy got me in France. It’s to die for.”

Helga was spared the trouble of answering when a loud voice rang out. 

“TIME FOR SPIN THE BOTTLE!”

There were “whoops” and cheers all around as a large group formed a circle in the middle of the floor. Somehow Helga had gotten dragged into it, probably by Rhonda, though she hadn’t really paid much attention considering her eyes were otherwise engaged. 

Her gaze had landed on Arnold before the game had started and now they were sitting opposite each other in the circle. He looked good. Dressed the same as always, a dark greenish blue t-shirt with the red flannel he had finally grown into over it, a pair of ripped at the knee blue jeans and his trusty black converse. When his eyes met her’s she looked away, pretending to be interested in who was kissing. Rhonda and Curly. Gross. 

As the game went on Helga was more and more thankful that the bottle had yet to land on her or the football head. There were some pretty weird combinations. Harold and Lila, who both looked disgusted, though Lila tried her best to hide it. Stinky and Sid who were so embarrassed they wouldn’t look at each other afterward. She held her breath when it was Arnold’s turn. 

He spun the bottle hard, and she watched intensely as it whirled around and around and landed on...her. 

“Ha! Arnold and Helga!” Harold’s voice boomed loudly in her ear. 

Her eyes widened as Arnold’s eyes met hers. He looked a little scared and then he shook his head, reaching for the bottle.

“Oh come on, let me spin again,” he whined. 

“No way. You know the rules,” Sid teased. 

“B-but it’s Helga! I’d rather die than kiss her and she’d rather die than kiss me! Right Helga?” Arnold asked, looking at her.

I’d rather die than kiss her. That one actually kind of hurt. She swallowed hard. 

“Right. W-why would I w-want to k-kiss a football headed l-loser like-

She cut off, horrified to feel the tears that were pooling in her eyes spill over. Before anyone could say anything she was on her feet and hurriedly excusing herself from the room. She bumped into Phoebe on her way out the door. 

“Helga, what’s wrong?” she asked.

“N-nothing I just need some air.”

“Do you want me to go with you.”

Helga shook her head, pushing past her friend and heading out onto the back porch. It was mercifully unoccupied and she sunk to the floor with her back against the railing. She wiped at the tears frustratedly. She’d know something like this would happen. Parties always ended in tears. She had been hoping they wouldn’t be her tears. 

“Helga?”

She almost groaned at that voice. That utterly impossible not to recognize voice. The voice that had haunted her dreams since she was three. 

“What d-do you want Arnoldo?” 

“I just wanted to see if you were okay. You’re um, crying,” he said awkwardly. 

“Your observation skills are truly unparalleled,” she said sarcastically. 

He sighed, plunking down next to her. 

“What’s wrong?”

Helga closed her eyes and swallowed hard. She could tell him. Right now. Tell him she was crying because the boy she’d always loved said he would rather die than kiss her. But who knows what his reaction would be. He could be disgusted, repulsed, or completely freakin grossed out. 

“Nothing you need to trouble your pretty little football shaped head over.”

“I’m not leaving until you tell me what’s wrong.”

Helga sighed. 

“Look, it was that stupid game okay. I was just getting overwhelmed and I needed some air. Got something in my eye and boom, tears. Happy? Now go away.”

“That was the lamest story I’ve ever heard. Come on Helga, tell me what’s wrong. Maybe I can help or-

“Help? Typical Arnoldo. How can you help when you’re the reason I’m crying?!”

She slapped a hand over her mouth when she realized what she’d said. 

“Me? What did I do?”

“I-I...well how would you feel if the only boy you’d ever wanted to kiss told you he’d rather die than kiss you!” she blurted. 

“The-the only boy you’d ever wanted to kiss? Helga, you’ve never kissed anyone?!”

She huffed a self deprecating laugh. 

“Of course, that’s what you got from that. I’m just gonna go.”

“Wait!”

He caught her arm before she could go very far, but he tugged a little too hard and their foreheads collided. 

“Ow! What the hell are you doing you football headed idi-

She was cut off by lips pressing insistently against hers. Her eyes widened for a moment and while her body screamed at her to kiss back she shoved him hard in the chest. 

“Hey, what gives?” he asked, confused. 

“I don’t want your pity,” she spat, shaking with fury. The tears had started up again and she didn’t even bother wiping them away. 

“It’s not pity,” he said quietly. 

“Correct m-me if I’m wrong, but d-didn’t you say you, you’d rather...you’d rather-

“I didn’t mean it,” he said, eyes wide and pleading with her to understand. 

He cupped her face in his hands, thumbs brushing away the tears. 

“I didn’t mean it,” he said again. 

“T-then why did you say it?”

“I don’t know. I saw the look on your face when it landed on you and honestly you looked kind of horrified. I thought I’d give you an easy out.”

“Pfft. That’s the second time you’ve done that.”

“Huh?”

“The FTI building. When we were nine. I-I told you that I l-loved you and then after you said we must have gotten caught up in the moment and I just agreed with you.”

Arnold smiled shyly at her, brushing her hair off her forehead. 

“I knew you were lying. You weren’t ready for me to know so I let you pretend it was just a fluke. That you just got caught up.”

“S-so this whole time, you’ve known.”

“I figured you’d tell me eventually. Didn’t think it would take you this long though.”

“Well it’s not my fault! I-

He cut her off, kissing her again. He was going to have to stop doing that if didn’t want her heart to explode. His lips were demanding against hers and this time she let herself get lost in it as she kissed him back. 

When his hands brushed against her sides and pulled her body flush against his, well as much as he could from their seated position, she moaned softly against him. His answering groan was enough to make her whole body shiver. 

She pulled back fro air, but didn’t go very far, resting her forehead against his. 

“S-shouldn’t you buy me dinner or something? I mean, isn’t that how this is supposed to work?”

“I supposed. But when have we ever done anything the way it was supposed to be done?”

Helga smiled, swinging her legs across Arnold’s lap and resting her head on his shoulder. He rubbed slow soothing circles on her back, pressing a kiss to her forehead, content to sit there with her in comfortable silence...which lasted all of two seconds before Helga climbed into his lap and started kissing him again. Not that he was complaining.

Later that night:

Phoebe made her way out to the back porch to see if Helga was still there. She stifled a gasp when she saw her best friend locked in a furious make out session with the boy she had tormented for years. 

She took a few steps backwards into the house, giggling and realizing she had been right. Helga did have fun that night.


End file.
